What I take with me

Posted on: 5 January 2009

The power of selection, the power of choice, that is real.

I am not so sure about the power of words, thought, opinions. Words – when spoken or otherwise made public, yes. So it is not in thinking them, but in expressing them where power lies. Sharing. What we join in here.

But thinking, judging, forming opinions – I guess you, who visit here, concur with me on that. Which seems paradoxical – dismissing thinking, judging, forming opinions is an opinion. So there. Still, I believe  it is vacant, useless, not serving any purpose, to read without writing, think without speaking. This is my belief, which I am reluctant to change. Because I have held the opposite belief for so long, without much success for me personally.

On the other hand, I believe there’s not really anything in itself wrong with lying, cheating, manipulating – if done out of love, joy, curiosity, and with care not to harm the people involved. Care for relations, yes that should be a guideline in anything you do. I know I fail at this – when I growl to my husband, when I sit quiet, angry, grumpily. So I am imperfect – I try to forgive me. But am disappointed, still.

Mostly, I find it so hard in this world, to witness the moral highground so many around me have withdrawn to. Including the inlaws we spent the Christmas holidays with. Instead of communicating, serving, listening, talking, playing – we read. We watch the news. We watch entertainment. We form opinions and donate. We vote. It seems so empty, all of it. We do not partake – we do not act – we sit and think. Heads on sticks. When last did you dance? Play? Act silly? No time. Must read this pile. What for, really? Call your mom. She loves you, even though she may not remember how to express it purely. She does. Call your sister, your brother. Express an interest. Make them take time for you. You are worth it. They are. Refrain from judging. Emanate love.

It makes me scared. The book, too (the Nick Hornby one). Scared of being the same. Of being defined by this scary, bored life. So I write. To share. To act. To empty myself of these fears. To come to life.

Let 2009 be full of life! It started well – my friend gave birth on january 1st : )

Here’s to life!


1 Response to "What I take with me"

You are right, that thinking by itself does nothing…….

EXCEPT…… it leads us to other parts of our behavior that can DO something about what we are THINKING……..

I know this theory,it might be of interest to you, called Choice Theory, a psychology about human behavior. The creator of it is William Glasser, and he has an Institute in California. He believes that there are four components to what he calls total behavior:

Feeling (Emotions)

He also envisions it as wheels of a front wheel drive vehicle; we lead with our thinking and doing as the front wheels, and our emotions and physiology follow. I truly believe this; because what he goes on further to say, is that if one is conscious of thinking, we are already engaged in the other aspects of behavior, whether we have acute awareness of it or not.

How it is most helpful in the counseling aspect for me, is looking at it backwards. Someone says to me that they feel sad, but they don’t know why. The belief of Choice Theory is that we have a thought and do something, even if that action is inaction; the emotions follow, as well as the physiology. We just have to gain the awareness of how it all interacts with one another.

Here in the US, we are such a feeling society I think; in that we feel things and think that they come out of nowhere. All emotions come from somewhere……..

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