Emptiness: money and me, 23-31

Posted on: 15 November 2008

The job at the theatre paid well and made me feel worthwile – but it was a side line. I was supposed to finish my studies and find a real job. Something I was trained to do (no clear cut scenarios there, when you majored in psychology), at my “level”, payment accordingly, and most of all: that would make me happy, finally. No low expectations there. Just a quiet dread that these vague expectations could not be met.

So after getting my degree, I made a non-choice: a continued education programme with salary. It seemed like a start of something big alright – just a pity it did not feel that way. 2 unhappy years on, I’d finished that – and could no longer look to money for a solution to my unhappiness. This time, I felt trapped in having money (instead of not having it). For lack of alternatives, I stayed stuck in the illusion of more money solving my problems. I blame society, capitalism, consumerism – or, a general lack of understanding of what to do to feel fulfilled, live a satisfying life. Something we’ve lost along the way, without noticing. I don’t think I am alone in this illusion. I did not know better than what my big bro had “taught” me all those years ago.


2 Responses to "Emptiness: money and me, 23-31"

I think that you are absolutely right here; that we live under the illusion, many of us, that more money is all that is needed to take care of all that ails us…….. there is SO much more to it than that, and as I age, I actually am craving the simplicity of less money, less debt, less “stuff”, and just getting back to basics…….

I live in the Pacific Northwest in the US. My neighborhood is called “wilderness”. My neighbors are deer, elk, beaver, raccoons, bears and mountain lions.

When I 1st moved here, I lived without potable water. I also accepted any opportunity for a shower or a bath in clean water ever extended me.

I moved here drawn by this property, which needed cleaning up. 16+ acres no one else wanted. Of Wetlands and Rain Forest. I considered myself Blessed to be offered the opportunity of being its Steward.

Consider that we, personally, decide and choose what has meaning and value in our own lives. And maybe what you find yourself feeling empty of right now, is the passion to exalt yourself above others, based on what you do for a *job*? And maybe you find yourself empty of that passion because a new passion has taken its place? Maybe this *new* passion has to do with what inspires you AND everyone else at the same time?

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