Tink*abell

New series: money and me. A birth: age 0 – 4.

Posted on: 10 November 2008

Botticelli's birth of Venus I have been trying to get to grips with money. I found some interesting blogposts and a fascinating discussion ensued here. What does it mean (to me)? As regular visitors here know, I am looking for work. There’s many things I could do, and that would make me very happy – but sometimes it seems, the more fulfilling the job, the worse the pay. Well, that just won’t do, will it? Like most, I am looking for a fulfilling job with a satisfying paycheck. So, what makes a job fulfilling and how does that relate to a paycheck? I have been held hostage in jobs that were absolutely not fulfilling, because of their excellent paycheck. I do not want to get back into that situation. I have been looking around in the blogworld at alternative views on money. In the end, I decided I need to take a personal journey through my life, looking at how I have related to money over the years. In hopes of unravelling which ways to get rid of and which to hold on to. To be able to look at it fresh, and be ready and waiting to negotiate my way into that well-balanced job offer. To be able to know what makes for my personal ideal balance – what do I really need, in terms of money and other values, what can I sacrifice easily, and what is the negotiation space in between. And maybe gain some other valuable, unexpected insights along the way. Hope you’ll enjoy the trip and travel with me, sharing your views!

I cut up my life in peaces to make for a series. Here comes part I (quickly written, short and sweet): at age 0 to 4, I was (blissfully?) unaware of money or the role it played in my life. Mom was at home taking care of me and my 4 years older brother; dad went out – to work. That’s it!

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5 Responses to "New series: money and me. A birth: age 0 – 4."

For some time now, I have been making a serious effort not to buy stuff. Not to own stuff. Because if you own stuff then you get attached to it and don’t want to lose it. And then you end up staying on in jobs that drive you nuts. Because you need the money so you don’t lose all that stuff you’re attached to.

What Chris says is so true….. I am finding that the less stuff that I have, the happier I am. I feel like it keeps me stuck, and then, wanting more stuff, in a sense. I am trying to simplify our life more, as a family, by buying less and doing stuff together more. It is amazing really how little we need to be able to live a contented life. Right now, I am in a job that is somewhat fulfilling, the money is very good, and I look at that good money as being the way to enable us to do other things, and to plan and secure our future better….. I don’t want to be bound here, however, in that I keep doing this because I cannot do without the money part…..it is a very delicate balance, yes???

Well! Chris, Vanessa… we met for a reason, as a matter “of course” – I am amazed, though. Happy amazed : D!

Decluttering has been an increasing mantra for me, since a couple of years (3?5?). Gradually coming to realize I choose to value (empty) space over possessions. The space giving the selected items that are there, their proper spotlight. Moving things I own around, tasting, feeling, deciding whether they deserve to be in our house. Library card instead of owning books. Giving books away to libraries, friends, strangers (leave ‘m on the train).

Valuing relationships, time, energy, sharing, doing over having.

I am trying to practice all of those – a thoroughly enjoyable and rewarding process.

I am so glad you recognize that, too – and also, maybe an interesting topic, series, blog in itself? How to?

But there’s more to it. I am looking for what.

I guess I feel decluttering, decreasing the amount of stuff I have, bears a risk (for me)of disappearing myself. Something should come instead of stuff. Yes: relationships. Increased quality of, most of all. Quantity can follow, but must not.

But something else should come, too. Something similar to status, but not quite. More like: the space I take up in this world. I must take up space, my body of course, but also, fill out the space between me and the ones I encounter. Meet eachother as close as we can bear. Look for that boundary and touch hands there. Knowing we both are there, knowing where one begins, one ends. Like a balloon, like an inflatable thing in a limited space, say the trunk of a car. I want to fill out the whole trunk, all the nooks and crannies and corners. Or like we are all balloons, and I want to feel the ones around me. Hmm… that paints a very claustrophobic picture. Maybe more like bouncing joyfully against eachother… there must be space, so we can move, of course.

I feel somehow money relates to that need. Like earth my roots must grow into. I must be able to buy some land. And keep it, and keep it well. And if I want to move, it must be sellable so I can buy land somewhere else. And I need a buffer to, to take care of an overlap, and travel costs. Maybe I am wrong. But I am trying to get to a point where it becomes clear how this works, for me.

I hope you’ll stay on board for the trip and keep me sharp with your comments!

xT

Great stuff Tink.

Buddha said that as human beings we are doomed to suffer eternally. Firstly because we can’t have everything that we want and secondly when we do get what we want we will will live in fear of losing it.

I too prefer less though I must admit to sometimes finding myself wishing for more of some things. I love technology and it’s been hard for me to use the same computer for the last 9 years. When I read in computer magazines about the amazing developments in technology it makes me sad that I can’t afford a new one. I am learning to let it go and it is getting easier and I find I can find my equilibrium more quickly. It’s not surprising it’s so hard to let things go when so much energy is put into making us desire things through advertising and the medias subliminal messages to us daily.

Money is a confusing issue. With so much history behind it, it’s hardly surprising. My second article on money is published now and the third and most interesting will be out this weekend.

Take care and enjoy the journey.

Love V.

Am looking forward to your article, V! And hoping for enlightenment ; ).

Wow, Buddha – I did a presentation on Zen Buddhism in highschool. I didn’t get it then, though – I don’t know that I do, now, but I get more of it than then. That I know.

Yes, computers… this laptop is relatively new and works OK, but we’ve got an old desktop upstairs that’s so slow. I use it for music. I keep wanting to change it to Ubuntu/Linux, in hopes it will be a) faster, and b) more durable, ie not so vulnerable to upgrades of heavier and heavier software, that no one really wants but you have to do to be able to surf without problems. Aargh! Talk about annoyment. Also, because I’ve got a perfectly good printer and a scanner that just won’t run on Vista – backward forward compatibility issues!! I bluntly refuse to spend money on replacements when I really don’t need them. That bloody software race (like the atombomb race we had during cold war). Anyway, who’s got the time for tinkering computers when all you want to do is take care of your family and friends, and think and write a little? I guess I should pay someone to do it for me.

So, there goes my zen-mind out the window clearly. I guess I decided I am allowed to have and express emotions, since they are important decisionmaking helpers ; ) – not to mention important warning signals concerning my health.

Yes, the advertising industry. “Creating desire”. Useless. If they’d just put their energy into discovering their own desires and simplifying their own lives…

Thanks V, for sharing!

love Tink

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