Toggling inside out, outside in modes

Posted on: 17 October 2008

Looking at my natural rythm I seem to get down to doing some writing 11-ish, the past coupla days. I might sit down around 9, then juggle some domestic to do’s – cleaning dishes, decluttering, writing up groceries needed, having breakfast, installing new software – with a round of blogsifting. Looking through some of the posts that I find thru iGoogle, looking up some stuff or people’s work or backgrounds using Google’s keyword search.

Makes me think of the use of an agenda/notebook – do I need it for my own to-do’s? And also, a sense of mounting anxiety as I sense I should start producing something myself. A sense that I have to stop putting stuff in my head and start taking some out of it, or making something out of that. A very hazy distinction, since technically I suppose I toggle all the time.

Yesterday I watched the Emmy winning episode of House. Intriguing stuff on hypnosis, that made me think of Marieke and the Human Givens.

One of the things I looked up in Google this morning is Bas Haring. I was curious about his bio and his current work. He has a very slick Internet presence, actually referring to Wikipedia to read up on his bio. Smart. I found info on his courses in Leiden online as well, interesting homework, using YouTube etc. as course material. That I like. What turned me off almost completely is his very beta oriented approach, very traditional scientific learn the boring basics, and dialectically move on from there. Not a very creative and inspiring process to me – it just turns up the hairs on the back of my neck, basically. All the years of science disgust that have kept me away from that world came tsunamiing over me. Of course he is part of it! I think about how I do not want to be deterred by this disappointment. And how I should just let the new information sit with me. My first instinct would be to violently send him an email, j’accuse! style, saying how he’s a wolf in sheepsclothes. Presenting a very approachable and almost normal way of thinking and applying science in his popular work – books and TV. But drilling students in a very oldschool fashion in his university work. Or would he not be able to escape from it, …? Like that song by Leonard Cohen “they sentenced me to twenty years of boredom; for trying to change the system from within” -although I prefer the version with Jennifer Warnes: Well, the music and the video seem pretty outdated 80s now, but most of the lyrics is still relevant.

Yesterdays fantasies of joining in Harings course, wowing him with my brilliance and getting hired as one of his assistants have somewhat faded after this bit of Googling. But I guess the road less traveled is still a brilliant road. And Leiden is a good place for me to be, combining with further Human Givens training… I don’t know. Options, definitely.

Am reminded of Eugene Gendlin’s thinking on the edge, as well.

Looking for a job teaching psychology in a Hogeschool, maybe? Google it.



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