Posted on: 4 September 2008

Three days later.

Invited dad and girlfriend to B’day. Girlfriend (strange word when she is actually ovr 60 herself) tells me he is to take a repeated driver’s test since he turned 70 last july. The MD and neurologist already checked, his responses are limited/delayed. All of this, not to my surprise. To my dismay, however, he is writing them saying he is not in agreement. All a load of crap, as far as he is concerned. A formality, the test today, which will prove him right. OMG I did not know his denial is this huge. Sis in law explains to me how his driving licence is important to him for his independance… An unexpected echo of something I heard mom say about Oma Hans. Well, of course it is… but what about his own safety? I havent trusted him behind a steering wheel since his tia coupla years ago. How long has it been? Maybe five. After, he once drove me to the station. Could hardly keep off the soft shoulder, a slow zigzag invariably following any sideways glances. The tempo of his reactions matching the speed of a bicycle at best. Anyway, though I feel sorry for him and his loss of independance, I will feel relief to know he is not allowed on the road anymore. At last. But I am worried at his denial.

Poor little F is getting more and more ill by the day. Temperature 37 on Tuesday, 37.3 yesterday, 37.5 today. I have to wonder if the bathing is really working for him. Am disappointed he is not better today, when he slept fairly well last night. His bouts of coughing not waking him up anymore.

Tuesday was stressful for all of us. F whining, crying most of the time from 14.00 to 19.30, when he went to sleep. Short interruptions only for an excursion to the petting zoo, a walk to the mailbox and during his bath and bottle. Didn’t drink that much either, eating was mostly out of the question at all. I got really worried and tried to reach S. who did respond but was preoccupied with work and his evening plans. To which I completely freaked out, but did not share all with S. I looked it up on Google and was somewhat reassured by what other mums had to say on theirs child’s illnesses in forums.

On Wednesday, we both brought him because I was still worried. Around 11, I called S. because I was still upset and we had it out, me crying about all of it, my jobhunt that’s hard to be motivated for, and how I felt misunderstood in my worry for F. S. responded really well and ended up taking the afternoon off to spend some quality time with me and do my birthday shopping. We were just in time picking up F.

This morning, it turns out he was crying when his trusted caretaker Suna left for the evening and left him in the arms of Anneke, a replacement. He had been clinging to Suna all day. This afternoon at 15, Anouk calls me to ask if I can pick him up sooner, right after his nap, since he isn’t well.

I feel awful, I hope his health improves. Soon!


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