Tink*abell

More thoughts on family and friends

Posted on: 30 August 2008

Am writing this in Notepad. Brilliant decision. Nothing to destract me from the thinking. No layout options, communications decisions. *idea* ; real portable notebook (sketch here).

Am mildly annoyed at not being invited to neighbourboy J’s birthday party. Looking down into garden. Happy colours, kids, balloons. Fucking up his birthday song with inappropriate jokes. Thing is, I’ve never seen most these kids except one, maybe two. Never heard the names. OK, so maybe I am jealous. Taking a walk earlier to the shops, trying to decide on a gift. Feeling mounting anger towards his mum and dad. Party is about showing off his knutselskills, her social skills. What about what he wants? Her pushing him into thanking every kid for their present by kissing or hugging. Him feeling publicly embarassed and having to make up an alternative (shaking hand). Thinking back to my own birthday parties. They were fun – but partly because mum and I thinking it up, considering different options, working it out. Being creative, working together. Who to invite: always a tough one. The fear of one’s image if too few children. The pressure of too many little friends, some I hardly knew let alone liked. Wanting to have a popular kid there to increase my own status. All of this semi conscious. Getting a headache now from looking on at a safe, nonnoticed distance. It just seems unnatural, out of proportion, an not really that much fun.

Well, of that aside: mine’s up next week. As a new mom, I now see a new side to birthdays. How it is really the parents, especially the mom, who should be honoured on ones birthday. After all, they are the ones who made it all possible, who did all the work. This is the essential Muttertag and I plan to reinstate it that way. For my mom anyway – I do not want to take away from our little F. what he may want before he is able to decide.

Oops, time’s up. Have to wake little F. so we can make our way to my brother. Dont really want to, but there we are. Hopefully I’ll be able to write more after his bedtime, ninish or so.

Last thought: write article for magazine for foreign language teachers, offering alternatives such as mindmapping for rote vocab learning.

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